My friends, JK Rowling has outed Dumbledore as a flaming homosexual.
In front of a full house of hardcore Potter fans at Carnegie Hall in
New York, Rowling, sitting on the stage on a red velvet and carved wood throne,
read from her seventh and final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," then took questions. One fan asked whether Albus Dumbledore, the head of the famed Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft, had ever loved anyone. Rowling smiled. "Dumbledore is gay, actually," replied Rowling as the audience erupted in surprise. She added that, in her mind, Dumbledore had an unrequited love affair with Gellert Grindelwald, Voldemort's predecessor who appears in the seventh book. After several minutes of prolonged shouting and clapping from astonished fans, Rowling added. "I would have told you earlier if I knew it would make you so happy."
But, really, who didn't know that? The oh-so-mahvelous robes? The weird relationship with Grindewald that no one really understood? Okay, so most people probably didn't pick up on those hints at the time. What is hilarious are the reader's comments on all of these article that always begin with the words (in one form or another) "I'm not homophobic, but..." and then go into detail proving exactly how homophobic they are:
"why did there have to be a gay character at all?"
For that matter, why do we have to have BLACK people in our movies and
books??? Why can't the whole world just be rich, white, republican
assholes who look and think and act EXACTLY like me? OR you can stop being
so terrified of everyone who isn't exactly like you and become an actual, decent
human being! Whichever.
"why did Dumbledore have to be gay, why not some other
[background] character? Now I can never look at him the
So what you're saying is that you don't mind if people are gay, as
long as you have no interaction or emotional attachment to them? WOW,
that's so progressive and compassionate of you!
"homosexual characters have no place in a children's
In that case, we should ban every story ever written about a prince
rescuing a "helpless" princess and marrying her. Since you seem to have
such a problem with your children knowing anything about families that don't
look like yours, maybe you should just keep them from reading (or watching t.v.)
altogether, we wouldn't want them to, you know, think critically about how
jacked up your morals are.
"this ruins the whole series for me."
Good you bigot. I don't want to think that we have the same
taste in literature. I mean, Seriously? the fact the you found out a
character is gay (after the series was over and said series never made a single
reference to the character's orientation), ruins it for you? remind me
never to come out to your judgemental ass.
Oh, and I especially love this comment:
"umm...i guess i now understand why dumbledore spent so much time
with harry alone in his office.... :/ "
Cuz, you know.... gay = pedophile.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Dumbledore is WHAT?!?!?!?
So, there's a woman in my school program who posted this up on her MySpace blog. She has a better sense of humor than I do, and her tongue-in-cheek writing left me in stitches. I loved it and hope you will too.
I couldn't resist looking at the comment pages and I found some of my own that are real winners:
"First of all, Dumbledore is a really old guy, and there's no romantic storyline anywhere in the series that involves him. If there were, there probably shouldn't be anyway."
Homophobia AND ageism all rolled into one little package, because, as we all know, old people aren't sexual, or they shouldn't be.
"She doesn't sell enough books without having to include a homosexual? Give us a break!!"
Yeah. You guessed it. She felt obligated to script a gay character for her personal financial gain. Never mind that the revelation came well after she's already made like a gazillion dollars on royalties. Why don't you give ME a break?
"Many Harry Potter readers, not all, but a good many, are too young to grasp the concept of a gay character in a children's series."
I'd love to ask this guy at what age he thinks individuals CAN "grasp the concept of a gay character," or how old he thinks one should be before they are exposed to ignorance. Obviously he knows nothing about emotional, cognitive, or moral development. I could go on, but I won't bother.
"So, what's next? Heidi was molested by her grandfather and Dorothy was doing no-no activity with her dog Toto?"
Yes. Obviously. Because gay men prey on children and lesbians prefer sex with animals.